Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
