dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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