hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
