I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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