What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
