Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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