careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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