Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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