did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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