she woke up with a sticky ear
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
is that a dick in a sweater?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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