i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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