I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
