I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
