Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
