dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
