What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
