Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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