You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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