What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
