Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
