Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
