i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You're a waste of cheezeits
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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