why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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