i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
