can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
