last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
