Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
im on a boat
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