My cat gives me a boner
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
