Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
