My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
