Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
