Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
