So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
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