Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
