Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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