You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
