Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
