It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
