there's paper in my vomit.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I enjoy the company of your penis
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