I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
