so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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