Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I smell like Dick and happiness
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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