Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
