i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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