just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
