he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
