I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize