I will die if light touches me.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
