I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
