Pappa wants mamma naked
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
