Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
