He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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