How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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