I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
