She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
