I'm gonna have a badass scar
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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