If i come over, it means nothing
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
