Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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